Hope you are having a pleasant Sunday morning!
As I continue tinkering with the right medium to deliver my writing to you in a pain-free manner (and to actually get it into your inbox), I found that Substack has a new podcasting feature in beta. I use them for my main newsletter, and figured that this is a better way to ensure delivery and to allow folks to subscribe and unsubscribe (rather than me maintaining it manually).
On to the 3 things for today.
what if the way we’ve always done it was wrong?
a simple and powerful drill for learning to listen better.
on the concept of training being a sandbox for life.
Let’s get to it!
What if the way we’ve always done it is wrong?
This was a concept that I learned initially from Coach Mike Boyle. He’s never worried to admit he was wrong in the past, and he will explain the science and the evidence to explain why his thought process was changed.
My dad would tell me and my sister this story when we were kids.
A long time ago, before cell phones, before computers, before automobiles, there was a gurukulam (a school) in the forest. Students were taught under the auspices of the guru, on all subject matters and became learned men. This guru had a daughter, and she raised cats.
One day, as the guru was in the middle of an intense lesson, the cat meowed. Many things have changed, but cats have not changed much. They are assholes, and they will meow until you give them what they want. After trying to ignore the cat for a few minutes, the guru instructs one of his students to keep a saucer of milk outside, for the cat. The cat, its hunger sated, moves along to doing its thing. Peace reigns, and the guru is allowed to continue his teaching.The next morning, before class is scheduled to begin, the guru instructs the students to leave out a saucer of milk so that there's no disruption in class. This becomes a daily habit.
Years go by. The guru has changed, there is no daughter or cats. But like clockwork every morning one of the students would keep a saucer of milk outside the class. No one knows why. These students were told by the older students who were there, who were in turn told by the older students. That's how it has been. That's how they've always done it.
Duh, silly kids, you might remark. But these are things we do too. We fall into repetitive patterns that might have served a purpose a long time ago. But the culture and context has changed, but the way we do things have not. Either it is the simple fact that we are in auto-pilot, or we’ve not had the time to think about it, or lack the self-awareness.
I’ve found a lot of value in thinking about what patterns I fall into, which ones are good and which ones are thoughtless.
It also helps me get rid of my ego, layer by layer. What if the way I’ve always done it was wrong - great! Let’s do it better now.
If you’d like to read the original post, head on over here.
a drill to listen better
This one’s so simple and brutally effective that I am whacking myself that it took me 30-odd years.
I know I can listen better. My attention wanders. I get distracted. Maybe I have other thoughts floating in my head. Maybe I am trying to multi-task, always a bad idea.
One thing I do a bit better than last year, and can do a whole lot better is listening. I realise I make 2-3 mistakes when it comes to listening. A few patterns that I found are
I am thinking of a response even as the other person is finishing a sentence.
I know what the other person is going to say, and I just want to answer the question.
An idea strikes based on what I heard, and I start exploring it in my head. And I've stopped listening.
And the drill to listen better is so simple!
Raj and I did a workshop last November, and the facilitator made us do something absurdly simple. One person talks for 15 minutes. The other shuts up. That's it.
What we realised was
the person talking will explain more and explain better, as long as they are allowed the time and the space.
the person talking has probably thought of that idea in my head, and will get to it in their own time.
any question I might have - well, it will be answered if I just continue listening.
all silly listening/non-listening patterns were suspended.
Try it out!
You can read the original post over here.
on the concept of training being a sandbox for life
A sandbox is a fun place to play. It is a constrained place where you can learn things, and then apply the learnings to the larger world. The context in which you are an expert in, that’s your sandbox. For me, lifting weights and being in the gym has taught me significant lessons that I constantly try to apply in the larger scheme of life.
When starting a training programme, or even a day - I’d start looking far too ahead. It is a combination of searching for gratification, of being impatient, and of not being in the moment.
Instead, I just focus on the next thing I have to do. Let’s say a set of kettlebell swings. Once I’ve focused my mind enough to do that, I take it even further - one rep at a time. Don’t worry about the set itself. Just get each rep right, and build on it.
You can read the original post over here.
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Thanks for reading/listening, and I’d love to hear questions and feedback if you can spare the time.