Hey hey!
I am on vacation over the quarter break. From muggy and hot Madras, I am in muggy and hot Goa. But a world apart. The state of mind that vacation, or maybe it is Goa, puts you in is dramatically different. Maybe it is just an excuse that my mind needs. Well, whatever it is, it is useful and important.
Two things for today,
on why you should stick to something for at least 6 weeks. And why that seems to be the right amount of time.
on a state of mind, on old photos and wishes. Do you look at an old photo - from 2-3 years back and not old college/school photos - and wish you were in that shape today? Well, here's a question for you - were you happy with that shape, at that time and place?
on sticking for 6 weeks
the spark
Starting trouble is less of an issue than most of you think. One day, you just want to sign up for The Quad or start running or take up swimming. And you are bursting with motivation and drive and energy. You are so impatient that if someone delays you at this juncture, you lose your patience and try and find an outlet. Any outlet. I've seen this happen so many times. I think this is a great spark that one should definitely capitalise on.
Why does this happen? Well, it is unique to all of us. It could be something small. It could be you trying out an old t-shirt and seeing that your head cannot make it into it, let alone the rest of your torso. Or maybe some jerkface friend of yours made an unkind remark. It doesn't matter. The point is there was a spark.
That's great. Build on it.
the friend with the opinion
The issue happens when you start second-guessing. When you are a few weeks in and you are getting a bit bored of it. Or when someone else opines on your method and says "Pfft, Zumba doesn't work" or "Gah! That strength training is nonsense" or whatever. Now, you start getting doubts. Should you be doing something else? Should you be doing something else in addition to what you are doing? To make things worse, this person with the opinion starts to tell you stories about how another friend of theirs that you conveniently don't know saw stupendous results doing something else.
What started off as you being in a good place is now getting a bit rocky and unsure.
instead ....
You need to stick to your guns. It does not matter if yours is not the best training plan out there. It does not matter if your method is not the best method out there.
In fact, let me tell you right now - it almost never is. And here's the kicker - it does not matter.
As Coach Dan John constantly reminds us, everything works. Everything works for 6 weeks.
With absolute beginners, I've seen that it works for longer than 6 weeks as well. So, just keep at it. Get some results under your belt. Get some good, honest repetitions in.
It doesn't matter what the modality is. The reps can simply be about
waking up at 6 am to get ready to go to the gym or Zumba or a walk.
or finishing work at 7 pm and then putting on your sneakers to get your exercise.
or going to bed on time, or thereabouts.
The reps can be about everything surrounding the activity or whatever it is you are doing. It need not be about the actual thing.
The actual thing is easy to replace, once you have the scaffolding - the good habits around it.
Cultivate your good habits.
Stick to one course of action for a good chunk of time and then you can re-visit whether you should do something else.
At least 6 weeks, going on up to 12 weeks seems to be the right amount of time.
So, next time your friend with an opinion on what is better tells you, just say "Thank you" and ignore them and keep doing your thing.
on a happy shape, nostalgia and what which shape will make us happy
on old photos and wishes and horses
Our past weighs heavily on us, on our goals, on our aspirations and dreams. On superficial things. On deep things.
Do you find yourself setting a weight goal every year? Or every few months? Do you wish you were a certain weight or a certain shape? A lot of you do.
Do you look at an old photo - from 2-3 years back and not old college/school photos - and wish you were in that shape today?
Well, here's a question for you - were you happy with that shape, at that time and place? In all probability, you were not. At that time, you were wishing that you were wishing for something else.
artificial constructs
Where did you come up with that goal? Or your current goal? You think that goal is truly something deep, something that comes from your heart. Absolutely not.
Your goal, your wish is a construct of whatever you were seeing/hearing around you at that time. Maybe you went to a family wedding and that aunt of yours (we all have that aunt, right?) obviously spoke about your weight. And besides sparking a wish to yell out loud, it kept grating away at you. And you thought the way out of that discomfort and unhappiness was to get into better shape.
unfortunately, slapping is not a solution
Well, what is better?
Why does that shape which that aunt remarked on 3 years ago seem like a good place today but it felt terrible that day?
What makes you think that you will feel happier if you get to that place today?
And what happens when a different uncle comes in and remarks on your weight casually?
Sure sure, you might tell yourself he's an idiot. But will that stop you from beating yourself up?
So, what's the solution besides slapping insensitive people who should be minding their own business?
is there a problem to solve?
I think we should stop trying to look for solutions. A solution indicates a problem. Unless we stop looking at our past, we cannot start. I am not any way ahead of this curve. There are still days when I think of myself as that weak kid from high school, which makes me blind to the work I've put in and continue to put in.
The past is irrelevant. What other people say/opine/think are irrelevant. Unless you learn to separate that out from what you truly think and want, no goal will make you happy. Because you getting there, whether you get there or not, is not really what you want. You think you want that but that is simply the prison you've put yourself in and are trying to climb out of.
We've already established that it only takes an idiot to jar you out of your sense of achievement. Ridding the world of idiots is unfortunately not going to happen, because we happen to one as well. Not paying attention to idiots is a definite possibility but because we are also one, sometimes we will pay attention to idiots, internal and external.
a state of mind
You are looking for a state of mind. You are not looking for a physical shape or number. And to find this state of mind requires one to be free and detached from the silliness of it all, from the pattern machinery, from the thirty seconds of illusory nonsense, from the number of likes and followers. Instead, sift through the noise and look deep. Unless we find that, nothing will solve it. Because there's no problem to be solved.
Thanks for spending a part of your Sunday with me. Have a great rest of the day and I’ll see you next week.