Coach AA's Sunday Newsletter
Coach AA's Sunday Newsletter
June 6, 2021
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June 6, 2021

a fun night of drinking. The Hacker.

Hey there!

Three things for this week are

  • a fun night of drinking (or whatever). But then, the next morning, guilt hits. Oh, why oh why?!?!

  • 3 quotes. Featuring Jack Welch and Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.

  • let us meet the Hacker. This is the 3rd post in my series, based on George Leonard’s book.

Let’s get on with it!


meet the Hacker

In the first post, we met the Dabbler. In the second, we met the Obsessive. This one's about the Hacker.

From George Leonard's book, the appropriate excerpt.

The Hacker has a different attitude. After sort of getting the hang of a thing, he or she is willing to stay on the plateau indefinitely. He doesn't mind skipping stages essential to the development of mastery if he can just go out and hack around with fellow hackers. He's the physician or teacher who doesn't bother going to professional meetings, the tennis player who develops a solid forehand and figures he can make do with a ragged backhand. At work, he does only enough to get by, leaves on time or early, takes every break, talks instead of doing his job, and wonders why he doesn't get promoted.

school vs my previous job

In my previous job, the one I had before I moved back to India, this was me to perfection. Except I was completely clear on it and did it intentionally. I did enough to get by, maintain a reasonably good standard of work - quality and timeliness but had zero ambition as I did not see a future in my career doing what I was doing. In fact, this is the role I've played a bit too much in my life, going back to school. I'd do enough studying to get a reasonable score in the exams, I played cricket reasonably well enough to be on the school team - hacker of many, master of none. The crucial difference between doing this in my teens vs in my late 20s as I was unaware while doing the former and aware in the latter.

Being a hacker during school taught me a lot of bad habits, ones I've spent a lot of time trying to get out of. Being a hacker at my last job where I clearly had a plan played a crucial part in where I am today - I spent every waking moment thinking, reading, devouring fitness and nutrition - blogs, videos, training plans, books. I'd block my calendar between 12 pm to 1.30 pm, during which time I'd go and lift at the gym and come back to my desk and eat at my desk and work at the same time. I can't recall staying late at work or ever having to do work on the weekend.

thoughts

Being a hacker at certain things can be productive and useful. In one case personally, as I explained above, it allowed me to have the time and space to work on what I wanted to work on.

Playing badminton, for example, with friends might dictate that you be a hacker. You are just out there having fun with your buddies, playing at the same level you always have. Goofing around, having a reasonably competitive game but not trying to get better at it by taking coaching lessons and what-not. You find the level you want to be at and enjoy being there because it serves the purpose.

In places where it does not serve the purpose though, it is important to be aware and take the appropriate call. Places where you are just fooling yourself and/or wasting your time.

What reading this book reiterated for me, and I hope it does for you as well, is to recognise what you are in which situations in your life. What persona are you taking up over where? Then, using that lens to figure out what you want to do.

Not happy with how your career is progressing? Well, are you just hacking your way around? If so, what else do you think is gonna happen?

Not happy with how crazy your work hours are and a lack of relationships outside and in life? Well, maybe the Obsessive comes into play over there.

There's a time and a place for each persona. To be obsessive when you are the founder of a startup, for example. Mark Cuban talks about not taking a vacation for 4 years. There are 1000s of such stories.

But you got to know when to stop. You got to know when it has outlived its usefulness.

And for things you truly care about, the long-term is to aim for mastery.

A useful exercise for you to do might be to look at 3 things in your life and see which one of the three you fall under in each of them. You don't have to do anything more - knowing and being aware might be all that you need to do.

Share "The Hacker"


3 quotes for this week

Working to fulfill someone else's needs or dreams almost always catches up with you.

– Jack Welch

Jack Welch's book, Winning, was recommended to me by a student and it was something I sorely needed in both my job as a founder and as a coach. There are two primary reasons we founded The Quad. One, to spread the word that fitness can be fun and you, whoever you are, can transform your health by doing a few simple things. Two, to create fulfilling careers where we can truly make a difference to people in front of us.

Something that scares me from getting larger is losing sight of these two ideals. Maybe it is possible to manage both, but what if?


It is because mankind are disposed to sympathize more entirely with our joy than with our sorrow, that we make parade of our riches, and conceal our poverty. Nothing is so mortifying as to be obliged to expose our distress to the view of the public, and to feel, that though our situation is open to the eyes of all mankind, no mortal conceives for us the half of what we suffer.

– Adam Smith

We never know what other people are going through. The extreme positivity, the one-sided exposure of self, the over-sharing. I am not sure if and where it helps. But it is currently the culture we live in.

I think social networks are due for a reboot. More private, more secure, more intimate, smaller, and relevant groups. I can't wait!


Small aim is a crime; have great aim.

— APJ Abdul Kalam

Dream big! It is a direction to aim for and being scared of failure should never deter us from thinking and dreaming big. I don't know if it ever stops with achieving the goal, or if it actually sours when we achieve our goal.


a fun night of drinking and a not-so-fun next morning

a fun night of drinking

You had a fun night with your friends (drinking while chatting on Zoom) and it alleviated whatever it could of the times we are going through. This is not something you do all the time, as you are clear about your long-term goals and values. You went to bed with a joyful heart and can't wait to do this again in a few weeks.

You wake up. And you start thinking about the weighing scale. Should you? Should you not? After a bit of back and forth, you just cannot take it. Everything you do is distracted by the thought of going and checking your weight. The more you try to push it away, the firmer it comes back.

rewind a little bit

You have a fitness/nutrition/weight loss goal. You know me - my recommendation is to always have it as a long-term direction, rather than a strict short-term one. Not that you will ALWAYS be on the path of weight loss. But you will always be on the path of improving (or working on) yourself, and fitness and health are a core part of that. When we have a short-term goal, a rigid ruleset, a diet - well, only two options exist. Either you stick to it or you fall apart and feel guilty. There are unfortunately only those two options.

More long-term thinking helps us out here. Guiding this based on our values, rather than rules will help us out here. You want to improve your health and fitness. Direction over speed and all that.

So, back to last night. Let's say you catch up with your friends every week/month/whatever and it is a time to let go of everything else and just de-stress. As part of your long-term thinking, this night plays a vital part - of connecting with your friends, of having fun, of limiting stress.

diet coke or alcohol?

The spanner in the works is the "breaking of the diet" i.e. you are drinking. We want everything else from that evening but not this.

Should we have diet soda instead of alcohol? Should we limit ourselves to one drink? Or should we just let go and have fun?

The answer - well, it depends.

Zoom out again. See the larger picture. Hanging out with your friends, having a good time, de-stressing, having robust relationships - all of these are valuable and vital. So, there's no problem with that. What about drinking? Is it necessary/essential? Of course not. You can still have a good time without drinking. That's not to say you shouldn't be drinking. This is not about this or that. This is, maybe, about de-linking an evening of fun and drinking.

Note: Please replace drinking with eating dessert or whatever else goes against your long-term plan. Please replace weight loss with whatever your goal is.

two sub-par ways

There are at least two sub-par ways of dealing with this scenario.

One, you are a grumpy goose coz you are on a diet and hence are not drinking. You are not as much fun sober as you are drunk, and you decide to show it. You have an air of superiority coz you are on a journey towards taking care of yourself and so you remind everyone subtly or not that you are not drinking this night.

Two, you drink and you have a great time. And the next morning is filled with shame and guilt and weighing yourself 10 times. Before pooping. After pooping. After walking around a little bit. Then, walking around a little bit more. All the while berating yourself.

instead, how about ....

In the first scenario, instead of doing that, if you've decided to not drink, great. You don't need to announce it. You can just chill and have a good time. Being tightly wound, repeating the pattern to yourself that not drinking = not fun is the problem. And sure, of course, many of us loosen up after drinking and maybe we are more fun after drinking. Or rather, being around drunk people is more fun when you are drunk. As the designated driver for many years, I know this. You can just sip on your diet soda or water or whatever you are drinking and just hang out and have a great time.

In the second scenario, just stop! As part of the decision-making process that goes into the previous evening which ends with "Yep, I am going to drink and have a good time with my friends" also means a few guidelines along with it. Yes, you will feel a bit bloated the next morning. Yes, your weight might be up. Or down. But it is irrelevant. You will not obsess over it or use it as a yardstick for anything.

In both scenarios, going into the mindset of "I am going to have a good time" and not feeling guilty or succumbing to short-term "fix it" measures is the key. I think.

Play the long game. Distance yourself. Let go of patterns. See what this scenario entails. Then, just enjoy the ride. See how it feels.

Relax.

Share "the morning after"


That’s it from me. Thank you for reading! See you next week.