Hey hey!
Hope your Sunday is off to a good start. Little more than a week into this new year and decade. Resolutions are still strong and maybe now’s a good time to write down what you are going for - and to come back to it when we slip up.
On to the 3 things for today,
why rhythm and grace might be a good way to think about physical activities like lifting weights and running
3 quotes for this week
a story about a student who showed up for 4+ years, until they couldn’t.
on rhythm and grace
We can get confused when we over-think the technique in many parts of strength training. I want to talk about a rather different way of approaching lifting weights - with grace and rhythm.
There are a lot of technical aspects of strength training, and there are lots and lots of movements. And hundreds of variations of each movement too.
There's the overwhelming confusion that stems from the technique. How do you pack your shoulders? How do you brace? How much do you stiffen up? What angle should you turn your toes out? What does all this even mean?
And while there are remarkably excellent books and coaches that we can pick up these techniques from, mastering them is a life-long journey. For example, Brett Jones is still searching for his perfect kettlebell swing, he says.
As a beginner, or sometimes, even as an experienced lifter, we can get bogged down with technique and get in the way of things. As an over-thinker, I certainly fall into that category.
But I realised something profound and simple - watch a ballet dancer, or a speed skater (or any elite athlete) and you will see that they look good doing what they are doing. It is not clunky or weird.
Don't think so? Here's something you can do. Take a video of something you do reasonably well - playing badminton or running or whatever. And then compare it to world #1 and look at the difference in the beauty of the movement.
You know it when things look right. It is just how it is. Even as coaches, before I can point out whether there's something off, I know there's something off. And when someone moves well, it is blindingly obvious.
How can you make this actionable? If you are running, find a rhythm in your steps, stay light and make as little noise as possible, be as fluid and graceful as you can. Don’t worry about running faster or slower or pumping your knees etc. If you are lifting weights, try to look as graceful and seamless, and find a rhythm across the entire set.
3 quotes - expectations and maturity seems to be the theme
I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.
– Bruce Lee
I love this quote. Anytime I feel I am forcing myself to conform to a behaviour - whether it is peer pressure or whatever - I try to come back to this. Balancing being a selfish ass versus being pulled all over the place by everyone is, well, a balance. But I think if all of us remember this, we'd be much better off.
We are the primary cause of our suffering, not someone else.
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Connecting the first quote to this one, many times when I get angry or disappointed or whatever, it is because I expected a different action/behaviour from a person. Even if this person is close to me, it does not dictate that they behave according to how I'd like them to.
All of us have our inner dialogues and version of events going on, and we act according to that. We don't intend to hurt someone close to us but sometimes we do. And that suffering happens more when there's an expectation.
Maturity is learning how to start when you feel like procrastinating and learning how to listen when you feel like talking.
– James Clear
I used to define myself as a procrastinator until I went to a retreat, late in 2019. I realised I just need more time and space to mull things over. And that there are other forms of procrastination which I do - excessively research, for example. Learning how to see this pattern and break out of it is like lifting weights - learning to use a muscle repetitively and getting better at it.
a student story on showing up and then not
This happens to the best of us. How do we deal with it?
This is a story about a student of mine who originally lived elsewhere and would show up to my class when on vacation. And once they moved back, showed up to class from the very next day.
Fitness was a core part of their identity, has been an active athlete all their life. Contrary to many of us who slip up when we go to college (as was my case), or move countries, TB was the exception. So, it was no surprise that they identified a place to train as part of all the various things that they needed as part of the "moving back" package.
Showing up and putting in the work was a given.
busyness and work-life
TB was here to try their hand at their own venture, primarily as an army of one. They'd show up to class (3-5 days a week) from a not-so-near house, wrap up class, and then eat breakfast in the car. And then get on with their day which would end only around 9 in the evening.
Sounds crazy, right! But if we think about our own lives, we've all been there at one point - crazy driven and going places. Even if we are currently in a rut and coasting, we can get out of it by simply anchoring ourselves to a keystone habit. TB knew their keystone habit and had no time for excuses.
It doesn't have to be the startup life that's crazy. Unfortunately, all of us go through a period (a few years to sometimes, unfortunately, a few decades) of busyness. Until we figure out what's important and seek sustainability. Even if you aren't in a startup, you know what it feels like to juggle a hundred different things. I've written earlier about my students - here and here - who had more going on than me and I was always in awe of how they made it work.
There are only two ways the startup life gets - busier or go bust. More power to TB, it got better and busier. Plus, quite a few life events also took place.
One of Coach Dan John's more complex lessons is the balance between work-rest-play-pray (and by pray he simply means alone time). I think we will always have some imbalance in these but as we zoom out, there should be a balance. With work and family becoming a bigger part, finally, TB found their core challenged - showing up was not a given.
a central part being challenged
Remember, TB's identity is centred around fitness and showing up. And their drive is significant - I've seen them batter against a wall and get through by sheer stubbornness and willpower. But all things have to give, eventually.
Perspective is rather difficult when it is us. We all have our blind spots. What is blindingly obvious to me is invisible to TB.
And this applies to all of us - we all have our blind spots about ourselves. Forget the bad things, I am talking about us not recognising a full plate and being harsh on ourselves as a result.
TB is annoyed and blaming themselves and has been trying to just somehow force themselves back into showing up. But there are only so many hours in a day.
my thoughts and what I’d like to say to them and all of us in a similar place
Look at what you are doing from an outsider's perspective. Look at what all you've achieved in the past few years.
Look at the incredible amount of showing up you've done. While that might seem like the bare minimum to you, it is not a given. It was always an amazing thing and something that was taken for granted. Yes, showing up is important and nothing will happen without it. And yes, you need to get back to showing up. But you won't underestimate it again.
As work and family have dialled up, dial down the other things.
The gym, for example, is not a place to come in and set records anymore. It is not a place where you can expect to do things you were doing 5-10 years ago. Don't get me wrong - that time will come again. It is simply not now.
Punch the clock. Have fun. Play a bit. Give yourself a lot of slack and space.
Especially when we are trying to go to places (in life), we carry that to the gym as well. And of course, we should. Except when we should not. So, stop setting goals and expectations at the gym like you used to. Instead, can we look at the gym and fitness with a completely different perspective?
As my old professor, Marty used to say, stand on a corner of the room you've never stood at and look at the problem.
Instead of looking at this as a bad, liberate yourself and try to find a different outcome at the gym.
Maybe don't even have any expectations about getting somewhere at the gym. It doesn't matter.
The balance will eventually come. But right now, it is imbalanced. Be aware of it. Embrace it.
You will rise above and be awesome. Because you are already awesome.
It is my pleasure and honour to work with you
As always, thank you for reading/listening. I’d hugely appreciate it if you can share just one of these posts with one of your friends or family members if you think they’d find it relevant or useful.
I’ll see you next week.
