Hey hey!
Here are the three things for this week’s edition.
On highlight reels. And how everyone has it easy. Or do they?
On the curse of busyness that seems to afflict us all. Part of my sandbox series where I apply my learnings from a simpler universe of a gym to the larger, more complex universe of life.
On a simple/trivial thought after seeing my dog do the same thing consistently.
On highlight reels
In a world of highlight reels and happy photos, you get misled into thinking that the world is rosy all the time. Or rather, it sucks for you but for everyone else, it seems to be honeymoon time all around.
That's untrue. You are one of those people with your highlight reels that others are looking at and thinking "They have it perfect!" And since you know shit ain't perfect at your front, guess what the real deal is everywhere.
Social media is a tool and a great window into the parts of people that we don't see. But it is a window into ONE part and not the whole. It is watching Test cricket but the 30-minute highlights at the end of the day - only the fun bits. But it is the mundane that makes everything amazing (life and Test cricket.)
In our day-to-day interactions, the internal conversations that go on in our heads seem to carry a similar story. If the person next to you is lifting more than you are, they have it easy. They are so darn dedicated. And they have great genes. Or whatever it is you think they have that you do not. Likewise, when your friend is making it to the gym with crazy regularity but you are not. Their job is "oh so stress-free", they have a great cook, and they have zero fires in their house.
As someone who went from not knowing what the gym was to spending a lot of time in there and working on my health and fitness, I know that the above is not true. We all know it when we anchor ourselves in our story - that it is mundane and nothing magical. On how we got from that place to where we are at currently.
That's pretty much the same all around. I've had the opportunity to speak with a lot of our students who make this transformation in their lives. And one thing comes up. No one has it easy. The ones that make it look so have their priorities and logistics sorted out, and their brains sorted out. Everyone has good days and bad days, our ups and our downs. We do not advertise it, especially the downs.
Some people have it hard - taking care of a dependent person at home, battling a mental/physical illness that they don't advertise about, a personal crisis that you don't see, a business that is in the red and they are fighting to save. But coz they show up at the gym, or post photos of eating healthy food, we assume that they have it sorted. And they have it easy.
No one has it easy. You can read the Tiger Woods story or Wayne Rooney's latest admission about his drinking to deal with the pressures of playing football at the highest level.
The best part is everyone has it as great and as sucky as you do.
The worst part is everyone has it as great as you do and as sucky as you do.
This means if you aren't getting towards your goals, it all comes down to your actions.
On Busyness
Working out
You head into the gym and you lift some weights, throw them into a circuit and get a good sweat on. And you finish with some HIIT work or metcon or whatever it is that you think is the coolest thing for today. Your calories burned is pretty high and you feel pretty drained. That's a good workout!
The next time you head into the gym, similar strategy. You do a bunch of different things and get a great sweat on and your calories burned is even higher.
And you do this for a few months. And that's the issue. A workout is simply that - working yourself out. It is great to work out. But for the longer term, you want to follow a training plan.
Do you think taking singing/piano/whatever lessons that focus on fundamentals, build up the skills, and progressively challenge you will result in a higher skill level in a year? Or going in and playing a random song today, a different one next week, and a completely new one the week after?
Same idea. Workouts are random for the most part, and focus on "how worked out do you feel?"
Busyness
Where the heck does busyness come in? Well, most of your day is task after task after task. You are working 10-15 hour days. Answering emails while you are on phone calls and juggling meetings. And since you are working from home, there are the chores at home and the family stuff to handle as well. Busy busy busy. Your entire day is pretty hectic, from start to finish. But if you look back at it after a week, you'd be hard-pressed to write down what you actually did during that day.
Quadrant-II and the Eisenhower Matrix
The Eisenhower Matrix is a powerful tool for prioritisation and planning. You break down your tasks into one of the 4 quadrants - Urgent and Not Urgent, Important and Not Important.
And most of you (me included) live way too much in Quadrant-1 i.e. Urgent + Important.
The image above is from James Clear’s article.
Busyness.
You have 10 tasks to do. And you need to do them today. Now!
It makes you feel productive. It makes you feel like you had a good workday.
But it is similar to a workout. You worked yourself out. But what's the long-term game here.
The long-term
The long-term game is in Quadrant-2. Where you prioritise and schedule your Important (and not Urgent) work. What we unfortunately do is keep postponing these things, as they are not Urgent. But they are Important.
Following a training plan is the same deal - you prioritise the long-term. You want what you do today to be part of a larger picture. It feeds and grows you.
You determine what is Important to you and work on it. It is not a task that you can check off within 15 minutes (like answering an email.) But it is a task that needs you to do many repetitions over the next few months.
If you want to write a book, one page at a time. Over many times.
You want to deadlift double your bodyweight, one training session at a time.
Fuck Busyness
This busyness is a drain. Being too busy is a red flag. Of someone who does not delegate or prioritise well. Of someone who has not taken the time to understand what is important or long-term. When you are too busy, it is not a matter of pride.
Over the past few years, I've realised I've dug myself into this hole. As I get more and more efficient at what I do and the tasks I can get done in the same time window, I add more tasks to my plate. But the long-term has suffered. My attention span has atrophied. Sitting down and chewing on a problem for a few hours is impossible to do, coz there are 15 emails accumulating and a meeting to go to.
One advantage I have is access to a tremendous community, which includes quite a few successful people who run enterprises way BIGGER than anything I can imagine. And one common thread is they are not busy. They've taken the time to design their lives such that their work-life balance is not skewed. They can and do take the time to do the larger things. That's a simple, clear path to follow and aim for.
Sandbox
As always, it takes a simpler setting for me to understand. Working out is fun. Working out gives you instant gratification.
A training session does not leave you in a pool of sweat. Some training sessions are ridiculously light and short. There's a lot of boredom involved if you look at it on paper. Coz you are repeating the same things over and over and over again.
But working out = busyness. And for the long term, I do not want to keep working out. And I do not want to be stuck in busyness.
Fuck busyness. Think long-term.
Now, I am not saying we stop working out or we stop having days where it is all Urgent + Important. But instead, we shift our life where it is 20% busyness and not 80% where it is now. Likewise, working out is fun - so, maybe once a week you do that. But your training plan is what forms the crux of your week.
Friday Thought and 2 quotes
Updog
Every time my dog gets up from a period of lying down or resting or sleeping, she stretches. Upward dog, followed by a downward dog. And this is not unique to my dog, obviously.
Every time.
Maybe, just maybe, every time we sit
we get up periodically.
and we do something to loosen up
As silly as this sounds, I am going to do this.
As we spend more and more time sitting, we need to remind ourselves to get distracted and move.
I am always one for analysis paralysis. I will start doing something and then try to do a better stretch or routine. But doing something is the better method.
From The Little Prince
If you were to say to the grown-ups: "I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof", they would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have to say to them: "I saw a house that cost $20,000." Then they would exclaim: "Oh, what a pretty house that is!"
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery
From The Comfort Book
The best thing about rock bottom is the rock part. You discover the solid bit of you. That bit that can't be broken down further. The thing that you might sentimentally call a soul. At our lowest we find the solid ground of our foundation. And we can build ourselves anew.
– Matt Haig
And that’s it for this edition. Thanks for reading, and I’d love it if you can spread the word (about my blog) to one friend.
Feb 13, 2022