Hey hey!
Are you watching the Olympics? I caught some of the track and field events that happened yesterday but have missed out on a lot of it. Thankfully, YouTube and other things exist to catch up on a few events. But over the past few years, I’ve realised that I am cutting back on things because it is just impossible to keep track of.
As a kid, I used to know the entire squads of every cricket and football team, along with some 5 other sports. Today, I don’t recognise Top 10 athletes in most sports and I don’t feel left out either. Feels strange though.
Anyways, let’s talk about why we are here - the 3 things I have for this week are
being wheeled into surgery and listening to banal stuff.
3 quotes, features N K Jemisin.
Do you know what game you are playing? If not, then unhappiness will ensue for all involved.
being wheeled into surgery
9 years ago, as I was wheeled into surgery (tore my ACL), I was pretty nervous. Getting surgery, any kinda surgery is a big deal.
So, there I am, being wheeled in. And in my head, THIS is all that exists. Everything in my universe is now about me, my knee, my ACL. And this is what everyone is thinking about all the time, right?! Well, at least at the hospital.
There are two people in scrubs, setting things up. They say hi and then proceed to disregard me completely while focusing on what they are doing. In my head, I am thinking "Great! Focus on your work." And then I hear them. Talk about the latest movie they saw (and didn't like). About what they ate last night. About lunch at the hospital earlier in the afternoon.
I couldn't believe it. Here I am, in this serious surgery and YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT LUNCH!?!!?!?! We need some serious people in here with complete focus.
Internal tantrums passed. The surgery got done.
routine. or not.
Months later, and even now, years later, I remember this incident. And my irrational expectation then. Lying on that table, I didn't realise it was irrational. This was my first time and this was the biggest deal in my life at that time.
To the two attendants over there, this was routine. This was mundane. This was regular work stuff. Something they did multiple times a day, week on week, and month on month.
I am sure you've had this kinda reaction, well maybe a lot muted, but similar nonetheless. When you met your doctor, convinced you had something serious only for them to be rather dismissive. Or the other time when you were armed with serious Google research and they didn't even bother answering your questions and just gave you a couple of pills and sent you on your way. Of course, those pills did their job and all was actually simple. But still...
perspective
As I discussed in my previous post, our universe expands periodically. Big events of yesterday are mundane events of today. When ours overlaps with a different one, we expect the order or layering or importance of events to be the same across both. But of course, that's not true.
But what if in every encounter with a student, I did treat it from their perspective? Sure, I might have heard that question a thousand times before. Yes, I might have had that unreasonable and impossible want said to me by someone at least once a week for the past 10 years. By looking at it from their point of view, by switching my lens out for those couple of minutes, I will be able to empathise with them better. Yes, my answer is always going to be that you should NOT try to lose that much and I specifically will not be able to help them with it (but there are others who can.) That still doesn't mean anything changes with my answer but I don't need to try and solve the problem, or worse, explain to them why they are wrong. They aren't wrong. Their universe is currently different from mine. In their universe, this is the current priority.
As we meander and make forward progress, as we become experts in our own ways, we will find better solutions to the same problems. From crash diets to healthy eating and a sustainable lifestyle is a journey each one takes at their own pace, and arrives at different specifics even if the general direction is the same.
Defining the problem well, and defining the universe/environment the problem is in currently will lead to the solution. Shifting perspectives will help me understand them better. Shifting environments and guiding them along that path will help them understand themselves better.
3 quotes for this week
Live as if you were living already for the second time, and as though you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!
– Dr Viktor Frankl
Self-analysis is a powerful tool. To assume that what you are about to do is a mistake allows you to think a little deeper, peel a few more layers. If one has the capacity to pause between stimulus and response.
When a slave rebels, it is nothing much to the people who read about it later. Just thin words on thinner paper worn finer by the friction of history.
– N K Jemisin
We have become reactive to the competitive landscape, rather than responsive to the needs of our communities—those people we hope to serve. We are so focused on the competition, or even the threat of it, that we’ve forgotten to double down on what makes us and our work unique and valuable.
– Bernadette Jiwa
As The Quad nears the 10-year mark, I can see how my thinking has slipped up for a few years in between. In becoming reactive, and losing sight of what I am and what is unique about what I do. And in turn, what is unique about the Quad Squad and the work we are doing. A weekly slap in the face is mandatory for me.
What is the game you are playing? Do you know?
what is your (next) goal?
Are you looking to lose weight to look good for your wedding in 6 weeks? Are you looking to flaunt 6-pack abs at the beach? Are you wanting to lose weight to improve your health? To keep your diabetes under control? To ensure obesity or high blood pressure is not something you need to see the doctor about but take control?
Determining your (next) goal is vital to pick the method. If you want to lose weight for your wedding, then listening to me talk about sustainable eating and sensible training is NOT the game to play. But if you are keen on long-term health, on learning (and continuing to master) a skill, then we are on the same wavelength and can continue interacting.
unable to walk up flights of stairs or tie your laces
The realisation that you need to do something about your health and fitness comes about. The murmur of it has been going around at the back of your head for a while. You've ignored it until you hit rock bottom.
Rock bottom varies for each of us. For someone who played sport all the time in school, being unable to walk up a few flights of stairs might be the realisation they need. For someone who did yoga, being unable to tie their shoelaces might be a sucky feeling.
Hitting rock bottom is not that bad a thing. Because now you will take action.
choices
The urge to fix things immediately, to fix them right now can cause you to make poor decisions. But that drive is also the fuel you need for escape velocity - to make a running start. That's why most things will work if you are starting off. As Coach Dan John says, most things work for 6 weeks. You can use that to your advantage - do it for at least 6 weeks. And during this time, figure out your next step.
It is tempting to figure out 10 next steps but don't. Figure out the next best step. All of us will come to the realisation that long-term health and General Physical Preparation is a great path to go towards. But until then, what do you do?
Make a choice.
bad choices vs not so bad choices
Elimination diets, fad diets, drastic amounts of lifting or running - all of them do sound like bad choices. As long as you are not going to do long-term physical harm to yourself, don't overthink it.
Unfortunately, we do not know if they are bad choices or not. Even if you hire a coach, unless you buy in and align on the way forward, it will not lead to progress. A good choice can still be a bad choice - because it is not the right one for you at this moment.
But there are terrible choices and you need to avoid them. If you won't ask your mom to do it, don't do it. Let's start there, by eliminating the most stupid ones.
A lot of issues occur because we listen to people playing different games than us.
you will evolve
Some people, and I have encountered many students, start off a lot more enlightened and smarter than I did. They join us, clear about the long-term. They train, learn skills, and don't hurt themselves.
But most folks are similar - results now, and by any means necessary. Stay off sugar, lift weights in the morning and go running in the evening, and all that kinda stuff. It is okay. As long as you are moving in the right direction (and you need to figure that out), you will be fine.
Give yourself time to evolve. Do what you feel is apt for you today. Because you said no to something today does not mean it is not right for you tomorrow.
Today, you and your goals and intentions are different. Do what works for today.
Tomorrow, as you evolve, ideas that did not make sense will sound different. Sound right.
Give yourself time to evolve. Give yourself space and freedom to evolve. Don't tell yourself "You are this way" and contain/constrict yourself.
What is the game you are playing today?
Thanks for reading and sharing. If you have any feedback, please write to me. I’d like to know what you’d like me to write about.
