Hey hey!
The new quarter of training starts in a couple of days and I am eagerly waiting to get back into it. I had a good break, with a lot of reading and hanging out with friends.
Here’s what I have for today.
on being a bit angry. And what a good fuel it can be.
on calling out b*s*. On how I possibly got it wrong when I did it this time and using it as a lesson to be learned.
3 quotes. On quality, mediocrity, and persistence.
P.S: Still haven’t sorted out my technical issues to record the audio. Committing to it - will happen from next week.
on calling out bullshit
As a coach, I think one of my main job functions is to call bullshit. It is also my job to be tactful and this is probably one of the occasions that I failed with the latter.
I had a client who was extremely out of shape. He was about 50 kilos overweight. He came regularly to class, which is a positive signal. Around the 2-month mark of training with me, now that he was in tune with what our training methodology was, I initiated a chat about lifestyle and nutrition. He had made it clear that his goal was fat loss and that he was already working on it and training with me was just the activity portion to check off.
Since he had not seen any visible progress after 3 months of regular training, I wanted to touch base and encourage him. I asked him if I could take a look at his food journal and sit down with him and analyse why he was not seeing progress towards his goal. He was a bit reluctant - telling me he had it under control. I backed off and as I was walking away, he proceeded to tell me that he was doing this intermittent fasting thing and was eating 1200 calories a day (a ridiculously low number) and he had it figured out.
This, unfortunately, was surprising to me. Because 1+1 = 2. If you are lifting weights regularly (which he was) and walking regularly (which he assured me he was) and being in a calorie deficit (1200 calories for a 100+ kilo person is a severe deficit, one I wouldn't recommend), well, then the scale should be moving pretty quick.
The math simply did not add up. The 1200 calories of consumption were also too low a number that I could not let go.
So, I went back to him and told him something was off. Because here's the deal - if you are eating 1200 calories a day when you need to eat 1700-2000 calories, you will lose 2 kilos a month. If you are active 6 days of the week, then it will be even more. The law of thermodynamics holds true for the most part.
There are generally two reasons why this could happen i.e. not seeing the commensurate results to go with what he was doing in the kitchen. One, there's a deeper health problem that's not been diagnosed. Or two, he was lying to himself.
I told him this and was reasonably gentle about how I put the second point across. I acknowledged and congratulated him on what he was doing well - showing up. I told him that we could look at the journal again, and he could share his meal photos with me as well and we could get to the bottom of it.
Instead, he took it personally. He was affronted that a smart person such as himself was questioned on what he was doing. My blunt approach did not do me any favours as well. He did not take me up on my offer and shunned me.
About 80% of my successful student outcomes happen as a result of this crucial conversation. Folks who were just phoning it in flip a switch. But occasionally, a few get annoyed and walk away. I guess that's par for the course.
Don't bullshit yourself. You are the easiest person to fool.
You are precisely where you are because of what you ate. You are precisely where you are because you moved much less than you should.
That's fine. It happens. It can be remedied. By action. And by being honest.
If something doesn't work, move on. Do something else. But stick to it for at least 6 weeks and measure what is important to you.
If you have been doing intermittent fasting and nearly starving yourself for 6 months and aren't seeing progress - well, time to cut your losses and dig into what's missing.
Let go of your ego. Instead, listen to that deep voice inside you that is telling you something. Great progress is made or lost on whether you have the courage to do that or not.
I cannot help but wonder if I could’ve done a better job. But that’s something I can definitely rectify for the future.
3 quotes for this week
Quality is meeting spec.
– Seth Godin
The hard part, of course, is coming up with the correct specifications. Most times, we make it vague. We use buzzwords and hide behind them. Or we are constantly searching for perfection, which is futile.
If we can define spec, then it becomes clear to everyone, especially us, what we are trying to do and how well we need to do it. More is not necessary.
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself.
– Arthur Conan Doyle
To be clear, meeting spec and releasing a mediocre product or delivering a mediocre service are NOT the same thing.
Mediocrity is a waste of time.
Funnily, it seems that doing things way over spec might be a waste of time as well. It all comes down to defining spec well.
He says the best way out is always through
And I agree to that, or in so far
As I can see no way out by through.
– Robert Frost
Persist. It never is as hard as it seems. I keep telling myself this. I should continue to.
on being a bit angry
backstory
I was angry, annoyed and pissed off. Of being in terrible shape. Of trying things without being fully committed to it. Of sub-par methods which did not show results at all.
Initially, I was mostly angry with myself. For letting things get this low. The self-loathing and criticism got boring real quick and was counter-productive to what I was trying to do.
Then, it became productive anger. The fuel to push me out of my comfort zone, the drive to do something. Anything!
I used it to set myself a small and achievable target - do a 30-minute yoga routine daily for 30 days. After 2 weeks, I got impatient. But that's where the "shut up and stick to this" voice was useful. It was not just self-criticism and anger but a better kind of anger. One that was tired of my bullshit.
Showing up daily for those 30 minutes was hard. Because it was just me doing this in my room. It was so easy to give myself an excuse. But I stuck through.
a good kind of anger
The anger was still fuelling me, a good kind of anger. I used it to commit to something which would take me a significant way across. Signing up for a gym is easy. Showing up is not guaranteed. I needed to find something which would make not showing up painful, especially once my ardour cooled off a bit.
I signed up to run a half-marathon - and that came with a $1500 clause. With Team Asha, you commit to raising money for a good cause. And you enlist your community to help you raise this money. I couldn't very well ask my friends and family to donate money and not run the damn thing, eh! That took care of showing up.
There was a community that meant that all I had to do was show up at the aforementioned time. Once I got there, the energy of the group would take care of things. The first 4 weeks were horrible but the community carried me through.
Then, it got fun once they added in some intervals (running faster) which I've always loved. We ran in beautiful trails and gorgeous weather - so, after the initial sucky parts, it became something I looked forward to.
The rest was not straightforward. But you know what, it was.
there are two kinds of angry
There's the "yelling at the waitress" kinda angry. That just means you are an asshole.
And there's the other kind of angry. The useful kind. The kind that fuels you in a constructive fashion and not a destructive fashion.
You shouldn't be thinking of seemingly negative emotions like anger as only negative. It is always just how you frame it, and how you use it.
It shouldn't be eating you up. It shouldn't be eroding you. It shouldn't be making you act like a dick. No, that's not what I am talking about.
you have to be a bit pissed/annoyed
It should be fuel. To get you to blast off. To get you out of the funk you find yourself trapped in. To get you to try things you wouldn't normally try. To get you to stop saying the same old things to fool yourself.
Find that fuel.
Unfortunately, it runs out. So, use that fuel to commit to something you cannot back out from.
There's that clarity that comes from being pissed. Being angry at yourself and yelling/criticising is you acting productively. Instead, be productive with it. You'll immediately stop with the act. And move on to action.
find your thing
Find that anger. Turn it into a positive feeling.
And dive into the deep end. Commit to something you cannot back out of. Where the backing out comes at a cost you do not want to pay.
Your fuel will keep you going.
When it sputters, the cost you don't want to pay will make you keep showing up.
Magic happens.
Have a good Sunday, and I’ll see you here next week. Let’s see if my “jumping into the deep end” strategy works to get my audio version back on track from next week.